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20 December 2010

They Call It African Science

I once told someone that eternal hellfire is a myth. He looked at me kind of funny like I had a screw loose in my head. At another time, I told the same person that Christmas is also a myth. For him that clinched it: I was definitely nuts. Sigh ~ disillusioning people, it seems, is a messy business. I never thought I would want to keep on doing it.

Then the rainy season kicked in with all its thunder and lightning and weird ‘campfire’ stories and I couldn’t help it - the disillusioning gene cannot be suppressed. This time, I am giving Christendom a break and going after the ‘African Science’ community. By that term, I’m talking witchcraft, black magic, voodoo, dark arts or whatever you call it in your part of the world. I’ll just call all of them witches for simplicity. There are 4 common myths:-

Myth 1: There is black magic…and there’s also white magic
‘White magic’ is an oxymoron, much like saying ‘pretty ugly’, ‘unbiased opinion’ or ‘awfully nice’. The phrase simply shouldn’t exist because all magic is evil EVEN when one supposedly uses it to do something ‘good’. Some call it African Science down here in Zimbabwe. Yeah, right. Sorry Harry Potter fans: no matter how cute he might look flying around with his round rimmed glasses and over sized magician’s gown, he is still evil.

Myth 2: Witches fly to China at night
….in the sense of surfing the internet, maybe, or if they have a private jet in the back yard. They do not leave their bodies at night to attend secret meetings in China, Dubai, India, underwater, or wherever your local witch tells you they are spending their evenings these days. Even if they could (in the same way that Santa Claus, complete with sledge and reindeer, could), why bother leave a warm bed when you can conveniently Skype?

Myth 3: Witches Control Lightning
….and lightning conductors freak them out real bad, right? Otherwise lightning strikes wouldn’t have decreased since Benjamin Franklin got inspired. Check any honest report these days about lightning strikes to see where the victim was at the time of the incident: herding cattle out in the plain, fixing his satellite dish on the rooftop…etc. Lightning mostly strikes a high and positively charged point and if you are it during a storm, then you are…err… toast. No flesh and blood creature has the power to manipulate this powerful force of nature.
Think someone can control this?

Myth 4: Witches can morph into animals
Oh, come on! I didn’t even fall for this one back when I was in Grade 2 watching Visionaries on telly. Its like someone coming over and trying to convince me that Santa exists after all! People do not turn into animals; that would be like making a mockery of the Genesis account (to the Swedes, that’s a story found in the Bible).

Ok, before you go out and start fooling around with things you don’t understand, let me make one thing clear. Magic practitioners do exist, a pretty nasty lot if you’ll ever find one. However, their main power lies in deceit: trying to make themselves look much more powerful than they really are.

So there, I’ve done my part.

P.S: Please ignore the Google ads on this particular post ('love spells', 'voodoo spells', 'gifted psychic'?....purleeeease!)